The Truth About Changing Our Reality

There’s so much talk about changing our reality.

  Are we mere humans really that powerful that we can go back in time and change past events that made us who we are today? Or are we missing something here? Easter has well and truly passed. Yep, it’s time to put the chocolate eggs down and look deeper within the meaning of life. You see, Easter was never about chocolate eggs and a chocolate pooping bunny, but a celebration of Ostara, (or Eostre or Eastre), the Germanic Goddess of spring and dawn. Other similar Goddesses are Hecate, Freyja and Holda –  all of which share the symbols of the hare and the moon. The moon is a constant reminder of the cycles of life as it renews itself monthly.  It’s not surprising that the Christian tradition of Easter is based on the phases of the moon, or that they simulate the Christian notion of Jesus’ rebirth/rising with the pagan celebration of Ostara. Easter, regardless of our belief systems, is the perfect time to rebirth our selves, create new goals and gain clarity on the direction we consciously choose to take. The issue is anytime we desire change in our lives, we are going to have to face our Ego which often uses fear to keep us small and safe. Our Ego loves to keep things the same by clinging to past stories and old limiting beliefs, but our spiritual-self ends up feeling trapped, restricted, confused and even betrayed.  

So how do we start to drop our own bullshit stories and expand in abundance, love and success?

  Let’s go back to basics;  

1. An event occurs.

An event occurs often in childhood or early adulthood that send a clear message to our conscious mind. It’s backed up with an emotional reaction (sadness, betrayal, pain, anger, guilt, shame etc) that creates a highly emotional memory. These emotions all have a basis in fear.  

2. That emotional reaction creates a perspective.

Our reactive response to that event (different to a fully aware and conscious choice) sets off a perspective of that experience. We deem it as a good or a bad experience. We create a story of victimhood around that experience. We back it up with as much proof as possible. We rehearse that emotional reaction by repeating the memory of the experience again and again in our heads until we have a base perspective or bullshit story. Ouch.You see, every experience we have, we view in light of past experiences. If we have created a habit of being a victim, we’ll automatically apply that victimhood response to future experiences.  

3. We understand our perspective to be our actual ‘reality’.

The truth is our perception of any single event is hardly ever the reality. Our perception is a result of our conscious mind filtering 200 million bits of information down to 134 bits. That’s a lot of distorting, deleting and generalising of information in order to make an event ‘fit’ our perspective. If you were to ask 5 people to describe the same single event, you’ll notice the differences in the stories given. It’s all based on our perspectives. Not on any true reality. Your reality is based on your perspective of how you felt about an experience/event.  

4. You can change your reality.

You can change your reality at any given moment, by changing your perspective. For years I insisted I’d had a terrible childhood. This was my perceived reality. It was also bullshit! Yes, there were terrible things that happened in my childhood, but there were many many amazing, hilarious, adventurous, fun and love filled moments too! In fact, when I became honest with myself and dropped my bullshit story, I realised that the bad times were very very few and far between. There were far more wonderful moments than negative moments. I had just chosen a perspective to base my reality on, by distorting my perspective, deleting all the great moments and generalising chucks of my childhood.  

5. The power of our heart space.

So how do we change our perspective in order to change our reality? By utilising your heart space. The Heart Math Institute is leading the world in the science behind our heart space and how powerful it is. We can use our heart space to switch from anger, resentment, shame etc to compassion, love and gratitude. These emotions are scientifically proven to be strong enough to rewire the neural pathways in our brains in order to break down old patterns of thought and hence behaviour. By using the heart space we can enter the world of quantum physics because the heart space is that part of us that is connected to everyone and everything through its electromagnetic field. Based on Albert Einstein’s own theories of time and space, we can tap back into those moments of time, and change the emotional reactivity around specific events. As emotions are chemical reactions, we can literally change the chemistry in our brains that affect the synaptic network that dictates our emotional and behavioural reactions in the future. So the short answer to the question “Are we mere humans really that powerful that we can go back in time and change past events that made us who we are today??”, is simply – yes. If you would love to experience this for yourself and understand more about the process, you can book an Intuitive Evaluation here.  

Challenging Reality

How to break the good girl rules by challenging our perception of reality

What you Focus on is Your Reality

What you focus on in life is where you direct your energy and your action, and how you create your perception of events (your reality) and hence the world.

Everyone can perceive the same moment of reality differently, because our interpretation of that moment depends upon our own past understandings and experiences, and those vary dramatically person to person.

Our perception of any single event is hardly ever the reality. Our perception is a result of our conscious mind filtering 200 million bits of information down to 134 bits. That’s a lot of information that our brain chooses to ignore….


How to break the good girl rules by challenging our perception of reality

How We Distort Reality to Create Our Own Perception of Reality


We filter this information through 3 basic methods:

1) Deleting information that doesn’t fit our story or that we choose to ignore.

2) Distorting information to make it fit our story.

3) Generalising information in order to make sense of an event e.g. stereotyping


This is the way we choose to create and confirm the story of our life.

Do you ever hear yourself say?

  • “That’s so typical of men!”
  • “This always happens to me”
  • “It ok I didn’t expect it to work out”
  • “I can never seem to…….”
  • “That’s not how I remember it!”

Once we start automatically “protecting” our story it reinforces our patterns of thought which determines our emotions and guides our behaviour.

This then shapes how we react to all the events in our life.


How You Can Consciously Create the Story You Want


By being more conscious of what we chose to delete, distort and generalise, we can be more conscious of how we can change and edit our story.

By choosing how to respond we decide to be at cause for our life and can take control of our story. By staying in a state where we automatically respond we chose to be reactive and give our power and responsibility away to others.

Over the next week be aware of how you start to automatically respond to events and to people.

What ‘automatic thoughts’ do you have?

Is it easy for you to change these thoughts and choose how to respond instead of reacting?

This week, identify one thing you can do in relation to this awareness and take action, and share your thoguhts in Breaking The Good Girl Rules facebook group!

If you need support figuring out what actions you can take, you can connect with me here.