How to break the good girl rules by challenging our perception of reality

What you Focus on is Your Reality

What you focus on in life is where you direct your energy and your action, and how you create your perception of events (your reality) and hence the world.

Everyone can perceive the same moment of reality differently, because our interpretation of that moment depends upon our own past understandings and experiences, and those vary dramatically person to person.

Our perception of any single event is hardly ever the reality. Our perception is a result of our conscious mind filtering 200 million bits of information down to 134 bits. That’s a lot of information that our brain chooses to ignore….

 

How to break the good girl rules by challenging our perception of reality

How We Distort Reality to Create Our Own Perception of Reality

 

We filter this information through 3 basic methods:

1) Deleting information that doesn’t fit our story or that we choose to ignore.

2) Distorting information to make it fit our story.

3) Generalising information in order to make sense of an event e.g. stereotyping

 

This is the way we choose to create and confirm the story of our life.

Do you ever hear yourself say?

  • “That’s so typical of men!”
  • “This always happens to me”
  • “It ok I didn’t expect it to work out”
  • “I can never seem to…….”
  • “That’s not how I remember it!”

Once we start automatically “protecting” our story it reinforces our patterns of thought which determines our emotions and guides our behaviour.

This then shapes how we react to all the events in our life.

 

How You Can Consciously Create the Story You Want

 

By being more conscious of what we chose to delete, distort and generalise, we can be more conscious of how we can change and edit our story.

By choosing how to respond we decide to be at cause for our life and can take control of our story. By staying in a state where we automatically respond we chose to be reactive and give our power and responsibility away to others.

Over the next week be aware of how you start to automatically respond to events and to people.

What ‘automatic thoughts’ do you have?

Is it easy for you to change these thoughts and choose how to respond instead of reacting?

This week, identify one thing you can do in relation to this awareness and take action, and share your thoguhts in Breaking The Good Girl Rules facebook group!

If you need support figuring out what actions you can take, you can connect with me here.