No. Couples counselling isn’t about deciding who’s right or wrong. My role is to hold a safe, compassionate space where both partners can feel heard, understood, and supported. I won’t declare a “winner” or side with one partner — but I will always advocate for the wellbeing of your relationship and speak up when something is getting in the way of connection.

When two people are involved, we need to explore both perspectives fairly. This takes more time than individual counselling, where the focus is just on one person’s growth. Many couples also prefer 90-minute sessions so both voices can be fully heard without feeling rushed.

That’s a common trap for couples. To prevent this, I introduce clear Rules of Engagement at the start of counselling to keep the process safe and productive. Sessions focus on building new skills and strategies rather than repeating the same fights. Counselling is most effective when couples take the tools, techniques, and strategies from sessions and apply them at home to stop rehashing the same arguments at home. Real progress happens in how you show up for each other day-to-day, not just during the session.

Couples counselling only works if both partners are willing to participate openly. If one person is resistant, you may feel like you’re going in circles. In these cases, individual counselling can sometimes be a more effective first step to create change.

Couples counselling isn’t about staying together — it’s about creating clarity, honesty, and respect, whatever the outcome. Sometimes counselling helps couples reconnect and rebuild, and sometimes it becomes clear that separating may be the healthier path. If one or both of you decide to end the relationship, sessions can shift to focus on supporting you through that transition with care — helping you separate with respect, navigate the emotional impact, and (where relevant) co-parent more effectively. My role is not to push for a particular outcome, but to hold a safe space where both voices are honoured and you can move forward with clarity and dignity.

Some issues can strongly impact a couple’s ability to make progress in counselling. If one partner is struggling with untreated mental health concerns, substance use, addictive behaviours (such as gambling, pornography, or sex addiction), or anything that significantly affects safety or communication, it’s important these are addressed with the appropriate professionals alongside or before couples counselling.

If substance use or addiction is active, couples counselling is often not the safest or most effective starting point, as these behaviours can interfere with trust, emotional safety, and the ability to engage genuinely in the process.

If there is domestic or family violence, including coercive control, this must be disclosed and handled carefully. Our first session will help determine whether couples counselling is appropriate, or whether safety planning, individual support, or referrals are needed first.

In some situations, it may be more helpful for the partner not struggling with these behaviours to begin with individual relationship counselling, while the other partner engages with specialised support. Once safety and stability are in place, couples counselling may become a suitable option.

My priority is always the wellbeing and safety of both individuals — and ensuring the counselling process is ethical, productive, and grounded in what will genuinely help your relationship.